So I was up to three by the end of the weekend.
Down to one yesterday.
Probably be at zero by the time my birthday rolls around.

Wait. Huh?
Let's backtrack for a bit.

I like to joke that if you're going to abuse me, you might as well make it sexual.
It became clear to me that was the only objective for two of the ladies I was dating.
Granted, it is fun to know that even with the mini-keg I'm hiding in my belly that I can still exude sexiness.
I'd just like something with more substance at this point of my life.
Damn my morals.

So who is left?
Starbucks girl.
She's definitely kept my life interesting the past few weeks.
My problem is I feel like I'm in an accelerated relationship now.
Which I don't like because it's hard to gauge between infatuation, lust, & overall mutual interest.

Anyways, you guys luck out because you get a double post from me tonight.
How we met + Catalyst for speed dating.

Well, at least one.
Still waiting to see if I actually have plans for tonight.

And then a butter croissant hits my face...

It's always fun to wonder how it gets to that point.
It's even funner to explain it.

Starbucks, North County.
Readership knows I like to keep things general to protect people's privacy.
They've also probably already figured out which two Starbucks I'm at regular status are.

So she is a 24yr.old transfer from the La Jolla area.
Moved up to San Marcos to pursue a Masters degree.
I got to meet her because my manager friend just enjoys introducing ladies to me.
Sometimes I think she goes through interviews of prospective employees wondering if I'd flirt with them.

The easy is answer is: yes.
I have this bad habit of being easily distracted by pretty smiles.
I'll also want to comment on them.

2 weeks of casual conversation.
Occassional compliments & discounts.
Playful banter & a discussion about what my ideal cup size is.
"Whatever yours is."
Realistically, something that can fill my mouth.

Fast-forward.
New hire.
5'1 brunette, has teeth.
I need some hot chocolate an' a snack to get me energized for job interviews.
Perfect candidate for flirting.
But I don't.
Maybe it's because I realized the trouble that my penguin tie can bring.
And because Starbucks girl is glaring at me because my reputation proceeds me.
So I just let out my playful smile at the end of the transaction, which prompts conversations from her.

"I like your tie."
"I like penguins an' this tie."
"Yea, penguins are adorable. I really like that tie."
"Well, I like that you like that I like this tie. If only because it's easy to take this off at the end of a date."
"Did you just ask me out on a date?"
"Well assuming you're single an' at least 21, yes. I'm a sucka for a great smile that appreciates penguins."
*shy smile*
"Well... maybe..."
"Usually how it works out is that I get a number an' then I ask you out. It hasn't happened w/ (Starbucks Girl) recently, but that's how it usually works out. Right (Manager friend)?"
"Yea. An' after a few months he starts hitting on another new hire."
"True. But there haven't been any complaints yet. I figure there are some people that are missing out..."
"Here's your butter croissant!"
*SMACK*
Pastry goodness bouncing off my face.
"Can I at least get a bag? Or a number?"
-----------------

Not sure if it's verbatim, but that's generally how the conversation went.
Apparently she's the jealous type.
Which works out for me.
Having a background in acting, I like feeling wanted.
Numbers were exchanged, a few beach dates later, we find ourselves here.
Good times.

And now something from my archives of useless one-liners:
I look at you an' I think to myself, it's a good thing I shaved my balls today.